


If It Would Be A Perfect World - Sokkla Saturdays 2020 Day 9 (Sokkla is painful for Zuko)

by gemsofformenos



Series: My stories for Sokkla Saturdays 2020 [9]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Bitterness, F/M, He messed up... really bad, Hurt, Hurt feelings, Lonliness, Shame, Sokkla Saturdays, Sokkla is painful for Zuko, Wedding, Zuko messed it up, sokklasaturday
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 08:27:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27348118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gemsofformenos/pseuds/gemsofformenos
Summary: Sokkla Saturdays 2020 Day 9 (Sokkla is painful for Zuko): It was hurting to see her so happy. Zuko knows it is his fault that it was hurting so much. And so this day was a display of all the pain and misery his mistakes have caused...
Relationships: Azula/Sokka (Avatar)
Series: My stories for Sokkla Saturdays 2020 [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1952707
Comments: 11
Kudos: 25





	If It Would Be A Perfect World - Sokkla Saturdays 2020 Day 9 (Sokkla is painful for Zuko)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everybody. A wonderful event ends today and this is my last entry for the Sokkla Saturdays this year. I feel like many people expecting something humorous for the prompt I have chosen and this is the reson why I've chosen to take a different approach. I wish all of you a lot of fun with my last entry.

He has failed her.

All these years he has failed her.

Zuko's eyes were resting on his sister, who was chatting with Ty Lee, Mai and Suki a few steps away. The Fire Lord has taken place in a quiet corner of the Palace garden and was nipping at a glass of wine and his look was on his sister. Azula was smiling so warm and happy at the captain. Her rich silken robes were colored in the deepest blue and fine golden strings were worked into the fabric, forming breathtaking lightnings and dragons on it. A happy laughter escaped Azula's mouth and she was searching a grip on Ty Lee's shoulder. Both Kyoshi Warriors and Mai fell in and the cheerful sound gave Zuko's heart another painful sting.

Zuko's face darkened and he took another sip of his wine while he observed the four women. The garden was still filled with lanterns but the official part of the ceremony and party was long over. This part of the party was only for family and close friends but Zuko wasn't in the mood for celebrations.

He should be happy for Azula.

This was all he has ever hoped for her.

The happiness and the luck and peace she has finally found.

But all he felt was anger and bitterness and he was the only one he could blame for. Cause it wasn't her brother who has lead her out of her darkness.

His eyes wandered to one of the other tables in the garden. Aang and Katara were chatting with Sokka and the Avatar was busy keeping Sokka in a tight lock rubbing the warrior's head with his fist which was quoted by an amused snicker from the waterbender. Toph was encouraging the Avatar with a beaming smile. Katara's brother was dressed in finest red silk and his wolf tail was tight up to a respectful top knot. The Fire Nation robes suited him like the water tribe colors were suiting Azula but it was only another proof who has helped his sister and who not.

It has been Sokka who has initialized a search for Azula and who has found her in the end.

It has been Sokka who has dared to trust her first as she came up with the theory that the Dai Li has supported the New Ozai Society to destabilize the Fire Nation.

It has been Sokka's trust which has let her dare to return and to give her the hope that she can have a second chance.

It has been Sokka's efforts which have convinced the others to give her a chance and to have patience.

It has been Sokka, who has managed to reconnect her with Mai and Ty Lee and who has convinced her to talk things out with Iroh and Ursa.

The Fire Lord's eyes wandered to his mother and uncle. Both didn't notice his look. They were just observing Azula and Zuko could see the proud and warm smiles on their faces. Both have seen as well how Azula was shining tonight. Not only tonight, the whole day in fact. Azula was radiating a warmth and happiness and peace no one of her family has ever felt or seen before since she has been a little girl. A warmth which was eating Zuko up. A warmth he could feel and still it wasn't addressed to him. And it has been his own fault. His own blindness and jealousness.

How he has let her rot in an asylum for almost a year without caring about her.

How he only showed up to use her as a tool like Ozai would have done.

How he failed to risk more for his sister, even after Sokka has given him hints at their search.

How he has let her tracks run cold after her strike against the New Ozai Society.

How he hasn't dared to trust her about the Dai Li and how he has kept suspicious even after Sokka and Azula have uncovered the dark schemes of the organisation.

But this haven't been his only faults. Zuko felt his chest tightening again as his eyes returned to his sister. Azula's fingertips were sliding at the band of her necklace. The one Sokka has given her last year as he has asked her to marry him. A bitter huff escaped Zuko's throat. It has been his fault that things have taken this way. First the Fire Lord hasn't trusted Azula but as he finally dared to see her changing a new feeling took over.

Shame.

He has been ashamed of his behavior and how he has treated her. But the damage had been done cause Azula has been well aware how suspicious he has been and she hasn't forgotten how he has treated her after her defeat. She was aware of what he hasn't done and of what he has and when. And since he had chosen distance first it was now her turn to stay distant. But Azula stayed close to Sokka and so this shame turned to anger and jealousness. Like a dark poison it has started to burn in his heart until it was eating him up. He was jealous about how close Sokka and Azula were growing and how his best friend was having a better relationship towards Azula than he had. It should have been him who would lead her back to the light and to help her open up. Zuko missed his little sister and as more he started to realize that he has failed to help her before as more his anger and sadness was growing inside his heart.

And so Zuko made a terrible mistake.

One which has crushed any friendship he has. Driven by his anger he has dared to wake the fire of jealousness in Suki. A well placed comment here and there, no lies but quotes which he was sure it would be able to create doubts and mistrust within Suki's heart sooner or later. He has never been the finest player when it came to mess up with someone's emotions, but he was sure he was able to affect Suki with some remarks.

And Agni it has.

It has never been his plan to destroy Sokka's and Suki's relationship, he only wanted to use her jealousness to drag Sokka away from Azula. He wanted to have a chance to fix the damage he had done to his sister. The warrior just should have spent less time with his sister so he could get a chance to fill in to be there for her as her brother. But his plan just blew up in his face. He has miscalculated Sokka's and Suki's temper. Arguments have changed to accusations and accusations have turned into to a bitter fight full of screaming, hurt and tears and in the end he was exposed as having fueled this dreadful fire.

The fallout has been awful.

Zuko has lost all of his friends with this stupid decision. It has only deepened and widened the rift between him and his sister and it has opened deep ones between him and his former close friends. Things haven't been the same form this day on. He still could feel the distance and the damage every day. Some edges might have grown softer during the last year but the old closeness was gone. It was no surprise that he was still on his own in the corner of the garden. And it has only opened the path for the next steps in this dreadful circle of pain and sadness. Sokka and Suki broke up because of his actions. Zuko had destroyed their relationship since too much hurtful things has been said during the fights. And Zuko had to notice bitterly how much Azula had changed thanks to Sokka. Cause his sister showed a new side he hasn't seen before.

A caring and supportive one. A sensitive one. Azula has been at Sokka's side to aid him stand during the hard time, to cheer him up and to offer comfort and consolation. Azula organized a trip to the South Pole to get him away from the Palace which was filled with bitter memories now full of betrayal and she joined Sokka during his stay. Azula used her talent to read people and to analyze situations to fix the damage Zuko has done. She managed to save the friendship between Suki and Sokka. Azula has managed to win the trust of the others before but now she also won their friendship even Katara's.

It has been the way to win Sokka's heart. Both have been a couple as they returned to Palace half a year later.

And so today was a display of the Fire Lord's failure. Azula's shining smile as she has sworn the vows with Sokka. The joy and happiness this day has brought to them and to all of their friends and their families. To everyone beside Zuko.

It has only brought him pain and misery. It was oozing out of his heart strong and steady but he has learned to hide it behind a mask. In a perfect world everything would be the same like it was now except one aspect.

In a perfect world it would have been him who would have saved his sister.

In a perfect world none of her healing would have lead her away from him.

In a perfect world they would laugh together and tease each other like they have done as they've been little children.

In a perfect world he'd have given her hand to Sokka with an honest smile and not with the taste of bitterness in his mouth like he has done today.

In a perfect world he would have been able to make up for his mistakes and to withstand this pointless jealousness.

In a perfect world he wouldn't have failed to be a good brother.

In a perfect world he would have given her the trust and the love she'd have needed to come back to the light.

In a perfect world this day would have been their glorious triumph, the proof that they'd have succeeded over fathers lies together.

But world wasn't perfect.

He wasn't perfect.

And so this day was everyone's triumph but it wasn't Zuko's. She has made it without him. He was truly happy as he has seen her smiling at the first dance of the evening with Sokka. The way she has rested her head at his chest during the dance. But the aching and oozing wound remained in his heart and it kept throbbing and this pain swallowed every bit of the happiness to drown it in his dark misery and anger.

Father has been right.

He was a failure.

He has failed to help Azula, failed to fix the damage within his family.

Azula could be happy to have found Sokka cause he has given her the chance Zuko has failed to offer her. Sokka has managed to give her the help she needed.

Zuko noticed Sokka walking over to Azula. He noticed the deep love within the golden and blue eyes before the fresh married couple gave each other a long kiss. Both started to say goodbye to their friends. The Fire Lord felt their eyes finally turning to him and their carefree and cheerful smiles faded to a serious look. Both bowed short from the distance and the coldness let Zuko's stomach lurch. The Fire Lord returned the bow with a slight nod and he was sure that his face showed the bitterness, shame and sadness he was feeling right now. But the fresh-married couple left the party without a word and none of the others minded to join him in his lonely corner. Zuko emptied the rest of his wine and gave a servant a sign to bring him a new one. Tomorrow Sokka and Azula would leave the Palace. None of them has mentioned that they would return to it after honeymoon. Zuko was in doubt that they would. He has tried to get answers about their future plans but has only faced cold walls. He couldn't blame them for it.

The only one Zuko could blame for this mess was he and he alone.

This day has truly proven that his father was right about one aspect in his life and in Azula's. In the end Azula was born lucky… and he was only lucky to be born. And no matter how hard he would try this pain would never fade. Zuko wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his robe. At least Azula has found her place in life. All Zuko wished was that he'd have been more of a help than a burden on this road.

**Author's Note:**

> I want to say Thank You to everyone who has supported my works for this week and an even bigger one to all the wonderful people who have organized this Saturdays and have helped to fill them with so many many wonderful stories. It was so much fun to paritcipate thanks to all of you and it has given me back some fun and drive I've lost during this year. A big hug to all of you. Have a wonderful day everybody!
> 
> Yours
> 
> gemsofformenos


End file.
